It was Tuesday, December 15th, 2015 when I stumbled upon a shocking CNN article where “The Donald” shouted profanities and smashed a woman’s cell phone. I took screenshots of the article and soon came to realize that the Trump Campaign had bullied CNN into taking the article down. Somehow, one of Trump’s managers discovered that I had the last remaining evidence. The Trump 2016 team called and requested my presence that evening at one of Trump’s private Manhattan lofts. Below is what I remember of my encounter with The Donald and the screenshots I took of the CNN article are in a separate post.
Meeting with The Donald
After signing in with a burly security guard, I am escorted to the top floor of the building by a young, blonde woman, who I later learn is Trump’s eldest daughter, Ivanka. The apartment is stunning; thick glass on all sides with a panoramic view of the city. The Donald is sitting in an armchair at the far corner of the room. He is holding a drink and appears to be intoxicated. “That will be all, sweetheart,” he growls at Ivanka.
I introduce myself and receive no response. After about a minute of silence, he peers up at me with what seems like disdain. “You know, if she wasn’t my daughter, we would be dating,” he sneers. I laugh nervously, unsure how to respond to this.
Suddenly he stands up and motions for me to follow him. “I want to show you something.” He leads me into another room full of refrigerators. He opens a large industrial freezer and pulls out something wrapped in a brown paper bag. “Do you know what this is?” he asks me.
“It’s wrapped in a paper bag, I can’t see it,” I respond. Realizing that this may have come off as condescending, I start to explain myself, but The Donald cuts me off. “This is a moose heart,” he says happily. “I love moose. Moose heart, moose stew, moose burgers…” He has a far-away look in his eye, as though he is remembering something that happened a long time ago.
Wanting to appear interested, I exclaim, “Cool! What’s this one?” As I reach into the refrigerator to pull out another brown paper bag, he abruptly slams the door and starts talking very fast.
“My sanity is slipping. It’s so titanic that any words I use to describe it are just noise. It’s a fucking billion roller coasters, plus aliens. It is whatever it is. I don’t know what it is.” He rambles on like this for some time.
“I’m sorry,” I eventually say, “Wasn’t I asked here to discuss the screenshots of your CNN article?” For the first time in our meeting, he looks me directly in the eye. “Who are you?” he asks. “I’m Nathan! I was called in because you apparently have some concerns about the screenshots that I have on my phone.”
The Donald turns and walks out of the room. As he is leaving, he shouts, “Zingo!” I follow him back into the main room. As he is walking towards the door, he begins talking. “That’s right, the screenshots. I was hoping we could do something about that.”
The Donald is now standing by the front door, and he spins around quickly to face me. “Can I see your phone?” Confused and uncomfortable, I mechanically reach into my pocket and hand him my iPhone 6. “Zingo!” he screams again as he spikes my phone into the marble floor. “Problem solved,” he says, smiling maniacally.
“Not really,” I say, carefully walking towards the door. “I still have the copies in my e-mail inbox.” He then opens the door and motions for me to exit.
“Thanks for stopping by!” He shouts in a voice that sounds equal parts angry and overjoyed. The door slams in my face and I am escorted out of the building. As I am riding home in a cab, it dawns on me that I didn’t buy insurance on my phone, and I wish I had never gone to meet Donald Trump.
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